Dating Sims (Anime Fanboy Paradise)
Dating Simulations
Everyone listen up! Dating simulations! Don't try to bullshit the fact that none of us never played a virtual reality dating simulation before. I'm declaring that the majority of guys out there have played them before, probably on Newgrounds which is the Hentai gateway drug for most people....I should know. Now, I will not delve to details about the dark side of dating simulations, the extremes like hardcore Hentai -.- that's your personal stuff, but I do want to credit Metanimation for coming up with two of the most ridiculous, hilarious, messed up, and disappointing virtual dating simulations ever conceived. Someone, and he still hasn't shut the fuck about it, once told me that every anime fan has to have seen the series Neon Genesis Evangelion at least once to really be called an anime lover. That's complete horse fices and I want to introduce a lead pipe to his face for that. Of course the anime itself is excellent and addicting as hell, but still doesn't undermine your 'Otakuness.' However, Metanimation, disregarding what I just said, does not seem to be either for or against the anime. Their game EVA 4 Dating Simulation, or whatever they call it is sweet, but that's only on the outside....On the inside, the characters are fucking idiots who have a variety of problematic issues such as drugs and an addiction to slicing a man's penis off. I love it. Except for the fact that I nearly choked on a piece of chicken while I was playing, not to mention the fact that I wanted to go on a rampage with a wooden chair when I saw the ending. It is the most anti-climatic one you would ever see, probably on par with the anime's ending.
You're like....Expecting sex and stuff, but no! The only thing you get are words like 'Game Over', 'The End', and "Thanks for Playing.' You're welcome jackasses, you're so welcome, because I spent three fucking days acquiring magical spells to fight off biologically fucked up monsters, then spending my time trying to please a virtual reality fucktard on drugs and no sex! #$@%^!#$&~~~~! The game really isn't that bad despite my rant. You're not really playing these games for sexual stimulation, it's more for whenever you need a good laugh. Plus, it's not often you see a game where you can actually date a girl from an anime....Screw that cardboard box I have, boning the drawings is the new fad.
The Love Hina simulation they have is, my opinion, a whole lot better than their EVA 4 one. Probably since Love Hina just rocks ass, but I liked the drawings better and there are no more addicted druggies beating the living daylights out of you because they think an evil purple mushroom is chasing them. This simulation has so much *bleep* normality to it....You go to school, you visit the gym, you party with friends and get drunk....Then you get home where the chicks pick fights with you and the only thing you can do is retaliate by throwing a shoe. A chick that's obsessed with watermelons probably smoked too much weed when she was an adolescent, and a maniacal sword chick attempts, at every chance, to waylay the main character, which is you, ever step of the game....Had to kick her ass like eleven freakin' times....With a shoe.I was pawned by Metanimation, they're probably having a laugh right now, but yes, they pawned me. After my hard work of achieving a virtual erection and hoping to see some hot sexy anime action with the chicks, they pulled the same damn stunt as they did with EVA 4! -_____________-....Meh, whatever. There were no boobies....Just the words *Thanks for playing, hope you play again ^__^* or some other bullcrap. I was like....You whores!
But! I think Metanimation is awesome due to the fact that they managed to addict me to the game for so long even without the explicit acts you see on other games.
But! I think Metanimation is awesome due to the fact that they managed to addict me to the game for so long even without the explicit acts you see on other games.
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